Monday, January 19, 2009


One thing pneumonia does is afford its victim endless hours to consider philosophy and conduct a comprehensive assessment on one's life. Where is God taking my life this year? What goals do I want to work toward prayerfully? How can I be a better wife, better friend, better community member? I've had so much time to ponder these questions. Other than a weight loss and fitness goal that remains elusive, I've actually accomplished all of the goals I put down to paper a few years ago. It's the first time in my life where I'm not sure where to go next in long term planning. There is nothing I feel compelled to accomplish with burning desire. Instead, I'm quietly asking God to give me some new direction and goals. Jon and I are very different. He is able to find the joyful purpose in ordinary day to day living. No specific goals to strive toward are required to bring a sense of purpose and utility into his life. I love that about him - he embraces simplicity. I understand that we are called to find contentment in whatever circumstances God places us, but I feel most connected with God's plan and most useful and content when I am striving, striving, striving toward a goal I believe God has set me about accomplishing. To simply "be" and parade through the routines of ordinary life seems so fruitless for me. I feel like I've only got so much time on earth and I need to squeeze every ounce of purpose and possibility out of it. I love that Jon and I can bring balance to each other's lives with our differing philosophies.

I am making progress with my weight loss goal. I lost 15 pounds in the past 2 weeks, mostly b/c of the pneumonia but I'll take success from any angle. Once I recover fully (doc says another couple weeks)I can return to the gym for cardio and weight training again. I've probably lost ground not being able to work out for a month with the pneumonia, but I will hopefully get back up to speed quickly. It's exciting for me to watch my clothing size drop. My long term goal is to keep my blood sugar level at a stable and healthy level (I am insulin resistant at this point and have to go on Metformin once I recover from pneumonia to help with that), lower my blood pressure, and fit into a healthy size 10 or 12 again. Pray for my success in this measure.

My main employer has been quite sympathetic with this illness and for that I am very grateful. I have weeks and weeks of work to catch up on and I look forward to really digging in starting Wed as we are off today and tomorrow for holidays.

Tomorrow should be an interesting moment in American History. Our first president with African heritage. Quite a long way our nation has come from slavery, unjust hangings, and other forms of inhumanity against Africans. Still a long way to go though. I'm relieved that although Obama has opposing political viewpoints to my own, he seems on the surface to be a good man. I am concerned though with the pressure his supporters are putting on him. They have practically crowned him Christ incarnate and worship at his feet. I hope and pray that Obama will not get sucked into this power but will instead remember who the leader of the heavens is and turn to him for guidance. I am troubled with his choice in pastor this weekend for the invocation. If you've not read about it, he chose the very controversial openly gay bishop from the Episcopalian denomination. This bishop has been the center of strife and his actions have literally led to the splintering of the church. Regardless of your viewpoint on homosexuality, I hope we all can agree that to cause such a commotion within a denomination- to take the focus off serving the needs of the churched and unchurced and direct everyone's efforts to fighting a protracted war over acceptance of homosexuality within the clergy is misguided at best and demonic at worst. Either Obama chose this man because Obama believes that homosexuality is not a sin, or he chose this man because he was pandering to the GLBT base of the democratic party even though Obama does not support such behavior. Either way, it is troubling.

I do not feel it would be right for Christians to vote in nonbelievers to the presidency unless there was no other choice (i.e. both runners are not believers). I understand that there is no constitutional requirement of faith for our president and that the president in no way shall control the church or vice versa. However I cherish the freedom as an American to vote my conscience and I would only seek to vote for a man of God for president. In fact I would vote for a christian democrat over a non-believing republican if it came down to it. (It's why I would have never voted for Romney). The job is too important and too powerful in my mind to be trusted to a man who does not strive to put God first. My only comfort is in knowing that God is all powerful and will work his plans out even through a non-believing president.
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