That's What Jenni Said

Today a new acquaintance thanked me for the time and grueling effort I put into working with the mentally ill back in my days as a counselor (my first career before I got into IT). Nobody has ever acknowledged or thanked me for this before and I didn't realize how much I needed to hear that. The world of mental hospitals and physical restraints and Ativan and trying to help people who struggle with helping themselves is a horror story that I'll never forget. When I have bad days at work now (which is rare btw) I think back to what it was like working in those mental health facilities - scraping human feces off the walls, dealing with violent outbursts, or trying to comfort a little boy who was kept in a cage and fed nothing but dog food and table scraps till he was 9 - and I count my blessings. My thoughts and prayers go out to those who are dealing with mental illness as a patient, family member, or health service provider.

This week marks the end of my first full semester of graduate school at the University of Michigan in the MS in Computer Science and Information Systems program. I was enrolled in coursework in Autumn 2012, but those classes were actually senior level computer science undergraduate courses recommended by the university to fill the gaps in my knowledge due to not having a Bachelor’s of Science degree (I have a BA in psychology from New Mexico State University). It was a very challenging semester both in terms of the content of the coursework (so much math at times) and the requirement to balance the coursework with my full time career, my full time role as a wife and my leisure hobby of weekend travel. There were quite a few weekends whilst we were en route to Asia that I had to maintain the self-discipline to study on the plane. Luckily, I was smart enough to enlist the assistance of both my husband and and my closest female friend to help keep me on track with accountability and peer...

  In her new book, Lean In , Sheryl Sandberg has a little something to say about feminism, women, and power. She doesn’t devote much time to detailing or discussing the external, institutional barriers that we women face in gaining power and becoming leaders in our workplaces, the political arena, and the world. She doesn’t devote much time to these barriers because she feels that’s been well covered by others - we’ve already been there, covered that, beat that dead horse a la the Feminine Mystique. Sandberg wants to focus on our individual circles of influence. This isn’t about sociology and the group, this is about psychology and the individual. This is about what we can do, in spite of those external barriers, to rise to power. Sandberg’s main premise is that there are barriers inside of us, holding us back, and fencing off success. If we simply overcome these barriers we can rise to power and change the world through the power we wield. Sandberg on what women are designed t...

I've had the opportunity lately to offer some career coaching to others in our industry and I've really enjoyed the experience. I don't promise to offer all the answers to success but I can speak to what has worked for me that I've identified as potentially reproducible in your career planning to obtain your desired outcomes. I've transitioned from one industry (counseling and mental health services) into a completely different field (IT Consulting) during the course of my career and there are several specific skills I have honed and principles I have embraced that afforded me the ability to identify, pursue, and "win" opportunities that have come before me. General Tips for Career Success: 1. KNOW WHAT YOU VALUE. Self-discovery time. Figure out the qualities that are important to you with regard to job tasks, general industry/nature of the work, and work environment. For general industry give thought to the current and pro...

In my quest to become better organized, I've tallied a master list of all the data I generate and where I log it. Upon review, it seems to be very haphazard - some things are tracked in analog systems while others are recorded in digital format. When I decide to record a new type of data I often struggle in deciding which format to store it in and also which particular product to use in the format category. I'm REALLY interested to know what kind of data you personally record, whether your habits in recording have changed over the years, and what formats and products you use for your recording. Drop me an email in reply, comment on this blog entry on the website (http://songsofgratitude.blogspot.com), or comment on the facebook syndication. Data Item Recorded, Format (analog/digital), Products medical records, digital, google docs (Excel Spreadsheet) nutrition, digital, sparkpeople.com exercise--cardio, digital, dailymile.com exercise--strength, analog, Eat Clean Worko...

Continuing notes from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey The final habit for effective living offered by Covey is one of renewal, or what he refers to as ‘sharpening the saw’. In essence this means taking care of ourselves from a holistic perspective: physical health: stewardship of our body including physical fitness, nutrition, proper rest, etc. mental health: stewardship of our mind and talents including continuing education and training, reading, writing. spiritual health: stewardship of our spiritual life including prayer, meditation, worship, and study. social health: stewardship of our social relationships including civic duties, service to others, practicing habits four through six. According to Covey we should ensure that we carve out time in our weekly schedules for each of these stewardship areas alongside our Quadrant II activities. Since my mission statement (again, here for reference) already incorporates these four areas of stewardship a...

Continuing notes from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey Having put forth three habits that comprise personality responsibility and independence, Covey turns to address interdependence (cooperative action). Building interdependent relationships: seek to understand people, their thoughts, and their motivations so that we can empathize and know what matters to them attend to details; small kindnesses and courtesies are important keep commitments clarify expectations in relationships to avoid confusion always strive to demonstrate personal integrity (first three habits) apologize whenever it is warranted Habits four, five, and six build on these concepts: Habit Four: Think Win/Win seek mutually beneficial outcomes whenever possible Win/Win or no deal strategy for collaborating with those we do not hold commitments to Win/Win or compromise strategy for collaborating with those we hold commitments to this habit takes tremendous integrity because it ...

Continuing notes from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey Habit three of effective living can be summarized as life management. Remember that habit one was recognizing our agency, habit two was demonstrating the leadership to chart our course and now here we are at habit three- active management on a day to day basis in line with our chartered course. From a computer/IT perspective this is running the program we’ve written. The most important part of running our program is keeping our commitments; is adhering to the features we’ve documented in writing the program. Doing this is a show of self-discipline. We have to master self-discipline in order to succeed in running the program as written. I ntegrity is having the discipline to submit our will to our principles we’ve centered our life on. Here Covey introduces his organizational paradigm of Quadrant management. Quadrant I activities under our management are those which are urgent in nature and important ...

Continuing notes from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. Covey states that the second habit of a highly effective person is to organize life around a vision of what we value most, or in his words, to ‘begin with the end in mind’. Along these lines we should document what matters to us with a personal mission statement or statement of purpose. This is leadership; this is setting a vision of what we want to accomplish. From an IT/computer perspective this habit is writing the program for our system. The best programs we could write per Covey focus on solid principles (again, unchanging deep truths) and we must be careful not to center life on anything but those principles lest we make them little idols in our life. He cautions against a life that prioritizes marriage, family, money, work, possessions, pleasure, friends, enemies, church, or ourselves at the exclusion of everything else. I went through this exercise many years ago – creating a statement of purpo...

Continuing notes from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey . According to Covey, the first habit we must cultivate for success is that of proactivity. This means abandoning the paradigm of strict determinism: stimulus------>response Instead we must embrace a paradigm that includes the interjection of man’s free will: stimulus---->thought/will---->response We are not mere robots led around by our noses; we can choose to stop and think before acting. We must take initiative to act in our circle of influence. Note that this is not simply superficial positive thinking or an attitude adjustment but addressing realities and thoughtfully choosing the best course of action. Our circle of influence: that which we have direct control over – our actions and character that which we have indirect control over – our collaborative work with others From a computer/IT perspective this habit is simply the embrace of the reality that we have a hand in programming ...

I’ve been reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. It’s my second reading of the work - my first reading was early last year but with the stress of my father’s death I didn’t absorb any of the material. There’s a lot to review and comment on so I’ll be writing my notes in sections. According to Covey, the field of success literature began with an emphasis on building character (fidelity, integrity, humility, etc). However post WWI the field turned toward a cult of personality and most modern success literature addresses the superficial of social relations like how to get people to like you and how to build your “brand”. Covey criticizes this new paradigm and reminds us that social ethics are secondary success factors; we can only experience true success and enduring happiness if we have a foundation of underlying character. “Search your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23 “What you are shouts so loudly in my ears I ...

  I read once that optimistic people who believe that good things are coming their way appear to be lucky because good things repeatedly do indeed happen to/for them. Turns out just as many good things come down the pike for all people on average but only the optimistic people are looking for them and notice them and are therefore able to pounce on such opportunities more frequently. Can you teach people how to approach life with optimism and creativity? I’d like to think so but studies are inconclusive. Well actually that’s a lie- the studies *were* inconclusive when I last reviewed the matter for a term paper as an undergrad in the 1990s. It’s entirely possible that science has come to a firm conclusion on the matter by now but I can’t be bothered to look it up. In any case, I wanted to provide you two case studies in optimism and creativity, drawn from my personal experience to illustrate their practical applications. The first case shall be documented by way of a thread...

Spring will pass in less than 25 days. The spring of my 35th year. The spring of my 15th wedding anniversary. The spring of my father’s death. Looking back over my entries I notice that they stopped soon after my father’s death and the only updates since have been more details on his death and a short note about a prior winter trip to Austria. On my father The first two months were very difficult. I was unable to make it longer than a couple of days without crying over my father’s death. This month there have been no tears but his death still hits me at unexpected moments. I’ll be in the car on the way to work and suddenly it occurs to me as if it were new information: my father is dead. Or I’ll be at the office in a meeting about to present and a voice inside reports with panic: my father is dead! I never know when it is going to bubble up and knock the wind out of me, but I’m learning how to deal with it. The guilt is fading (my mantra: I did my best to be a good daughter and w...

I promised more details on my new job and so here we are. I work for CSC as a Senior Consultant for their Federal Consulting Practice (FCP). In some instances, I may consult on projects the FCP has negotiated directly with the US government, but typically I am asked to step in on federal govt projects that CSC’s North American Public Sector (NPS) is already managing.  This means at a practical level that I consult to one division of CSC on behalf of another division of CSC. CSC is a very large company (92,000+ employees) and it has fashioned itself into several divisions to handle different market segments. For example, it has a large division devoted to commercial work both domestic and abroad. It also has a major division devoted to US government work. This division or entity provides services to the US government under contract. The FCP division was created to maintain a pool of expertise to drop in to NPS projects as needed. This benefits the company to keep a supply of tec...

Prior to the start of my new job, I had a somewhat regular daily routine established. Mornings I’d wake up and after getting groomed and dressed, check email/facebook and then sit down with my bible to go over my morning devotional. Then breakfast, downstairs at the table. Work would follow punctuated with errands and projects. Afternoons meant lunch in front of the tv watching Law and Order reruns and then cleaning occasionally. After that I’d exercise, shower and start dinner. Sometimes I’d remember to do evening devotionals, sometimes not. Every 2 weeks I’d borrow a work afternoon to do finances and carve out time to grocery shop. So I started working for CSC and all hell broke loose with my new schedule. The first week just the stress of getting up at O’dark o’clock (4:30AM!) was enough to exhaust me. Add in new trainings on the job, new people to meet, new tasks to do/learn and the general anxiety of wanting to make an excellent first impression and GAH. In the mornings I was to...

In September I penned a lengthy update providing a general overview of the happenings in our family. Here we are in the last quarter of the year and there have been a lot of new events since that post. Thus begins a new blog tradition: quarterly updates, filed under ‘This and That’. Work In September, I put in my notice at my federal contracting job to coincide with the end of the contract. I had lined up a new job with another contractor – SAS admin work again (yay) for a different agency than the one I’ve been working with the past 4 years.  Regardless of whether my previous employer would win the follow on contract or not, I was ready to move on. My decision was validated when it was announced at the end of September that a competing company had won the follow on. I patted myself on the back for being prepared with a new job and approximately 10 seconds later it (the new job) evaporated as they too lost their contract that I was to work on. Oops. So it was back to job huntin...

From Zechariah Chapter 1, verse 4: ‘ Therefore tell the people: This is what the LORD Almighty says: 'Return to me,' declares the LORD Almighty, 'and I will return to you,' says the LORD Almighty .’ I read this verse last night (I’m making my way through Zechariah) and it really jumped right off the page at me. After everything God’s people had done to each other and to him he extended this invitation. They murdered, they blasphemed, they lied, they cheated, they worshipped idols and turned their backs on God stubbornly. And yet, God wanted them to know it was as simply as turning back to him and he would respond with love. It’s the most beautiful love story. Aside from reading scripture verses that get me emotional, I’ve been filling my time as of late with work, exercise, and trying to manage my very hectic to-do list. The government contract of my primary employer’s ends at the conclusion of this month, so there is a lot of tasks to be completed related to that, e...

One thing pneumonia does is afford its victim endless hours to consider philosophy and conduct a comprehensive assessment on one's life. Where is God taking my life this year? What goals do I want to work toward prayerfully? How can I be a better wife, better friend, better community member? I've had so much time to ponder these questions. Other than a weight loss and fitness goal that remains elusive, I've actually accomplished all of the goals I put down to paper a few years ago. It's the first time in my life where I'm not sure where to go next in long term planning. There is nothing I feel compelled to accomplish with burning desire. Instead, I'm quietly asking God to give me some new direction and goals. Jon and I are very different. He is able to find the joyful purpose in ordinary day to day living. No specific goals to strive toward are required to bring a sense of purpose and utility into his life. I love that about him - he embraces simplicity. I under...