Skip to main content

Thoughts

I read the comment below on this page and it spoke me:

 

  • (68) Mark, April 23, 2010

    The Inner Conflicts We Are Left With

    Do abusive parents run out of 'credit' as a pschologist once suggested to me? Do we owe abusive parents anything especially in their old age? Are they sick or just bad or a mixture of both? Can we hate them and love them at the same time? Can we really honour/love the person whilst forgetting the behaviour? Abuse of a child by a parent, IS rejection of that child and as such does the parent really have a right to expect anything in return when they get old? and should we feel obligated to them? Parenting is a two way street, just giving birth to someone and sharing your genes with them does not automatically give a parent a right to anything where there has been abuse. Yes we are probably programmed genetically to take care of aged parents with an unwritten rule of reciprocity. But where the risks to survivial of the victim and their genes have been made so great by an abusive parent, does that 'rule' of reciprocity written as 'honouring the parent', even through a third party, still stand? An abusive partner, even after decades of marriage would likely not be yearned for, in time: not so an abusive parent. However much harm the abusive parent may have caused, part of us still loves them and part of us still feels obligated to them and part of us still misses them if we are estranged from them through necessary need to be apart for our own sanity. We love them and part of us may also hate them. We want to be with them but we also want and or need to be apart from them. This conflicted position, is beyond forgiveness or dispassionate understanding of the abusers illness, it is beyond love and beyond hate, it is beyond anger and beyond yearning. It is a no man's land of inner conflicts which cannot be computed and resolved, which cannot be integrated and laid to rest because the powerful forces of love and hate, parenting and genes are constantly at work and no human could resolve them totally. And this, ultimatly, is the burden and legacy of childhood abuse.

  • Comments

    Popular posts from this blog

    Board Game Review: Brass Birmingham

    Here’s a story of a lovely lady (spoiler: it’s me) and her pride and how it has led to the discovery of the single greatest board game I have ever played. It’s probably also a good primer for other reviewers on increasing your reach.At GenCon this year, I was perusing the wares of the various booths and my eyes caught a glimpse of two beautiful game boxes. Each had crisp metallic lettering with an old world feel and artwork that radiated European class. I made my way to the booth and waited patiently to speak to to the team manning it as there were many buyers lined up to purchase the games. I didn’t know anything about the games (Brass Birmingham and Brass Lancashire), or the publisher – Roxley Game Laboratory – but I knew I wanted to review one or both of the games. Almost every board game love story I star in in can be summed up this way: I am seduced by the artwork or theme and then I stay for the right mechanics. When the lead rep spoke with me, he gently rejected my request. He …

    Board Game Review: Shoot Cows

    Saturday afternoon at GenCon I came across a demonstration of Shoot Cows getting started at the designer’s booth. The little cow cards looked interesting, so I volunteered to participate and within 5 minutes we all had the rules down. I picked up a copy for myself and vowed to play it within a week. Yesterday I did just that. My husband, myself, and our 13-year-old daughter gathered around our gaming table at lunchtime for a quick game.
    Opening the box and examining the cards, I found them to be of average thickness. Not impossible to bend, but thick enough to stand up to repeated usage. The artwork inside the box compliments what’s on the cover – a black and white cow palette that fits the game’s theme.
    I don’t often delve into step-by-step gameplay in my reviews (too complicated; read the rules) but as the rules and play for Shoot Cow are rather simple, it’s reasonable to given them some coverage. Two survivor cards are distributed to each player and put face up in front of them, si…

    Spirit Island Jagged Earth Preview: A First Look at the New Kickstarter Expansion from Greater Than Games

    Exciting news this week! The Spirit Island Jagged Earth expansion launches on Kickstarter October 16th, 2018. I had the chance to preview and play this upcoming release from Greater Than Games multiple times this week, and I can’t wait to tell you all about it.

    Update: the Kickstarter is live here.


    Our Spirit Island collection keeps growing. First there was the base game, which debuted in 2017 and turned the traditional narrative of the conquering colonists on its head, allowing players to take on the role of island spirits determined to keep the colonists at bay through any means necessary to preserve the serenity of the island. My husband and I picked up the game at retail (having missed the Kickstarter window) and fell in love with it immediately, enthused to work together as powerful spirits and put the invaders down. Next, we added the Branch and Claw expansion. This expansion (also part of the original Kickstarter) expanded the board, added new spirits and powers, new blight card…